What can make a good parent?
A great parent is someone who strives to make choices in the best interest of the kid.
What makes a fantastic parent isn't just defined by the parent 's actions, but additionally their intention.
A great parent doesn't need to be perfect. No one is perfect. No kid is perfect either … keeping this in your mind is important when we set the expectations of ours.
Profitable parenting is not about achieving perfection. Though it doesn't mean that we should not work towards that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves then and first our children next. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
You will be an even better parent, if you stick to these 10 tricks for parenting tips, and you will steer clear of bad parenting.
Not all of them are that simple.
Not everyone can do them continuously.
Even though you might not absolutely do all of these things, however, the tips in this parenting guide can help you move in the right direction.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell the child of yours everything you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is showing them.
Human is an unique species in part because we are able to learn by imitation. We're programmed to imitate others' actions, understand them, and integrate them into our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
So, be the person you want your child to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them positive attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - as well as your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Show the love of yours.
There's simply no such thing as loving the child of yours too much. Loving them can't spoil them.
Just what you decide to do (or give) in the name of love can - things as material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over-protection. When these items are given in place of love that is real, that's when you'll have a spoiled child.
Loving your child can be as easy as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also hearing your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love is able to trigger the release of feel good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals can bring us a full feeling of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the kid, will acquire resilience and also not to mention a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive our actions, shape our personalities, and essentially determine who we are. They're created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, especially in the beginning years. They will then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and also provide them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections into your child's brain and create the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems hard to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior issues. But it's possible by using positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you need to teach your child the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind whenever you set rules and implement them. Concentrate on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And make it an opportunity for them to find out for the future in a good way, instead of to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Let the child of yours realize that you'll always be there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to their needs. Support and accept the child of yours as a person. Be a warm and safe place for your child to explore from and go back to.
Kids raised by parents who are consistently responsive have much better psychological regulation development, social skills development, and mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us know already the importance of communication. Talk to the child of yours as well as listen to them carefully. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a much better connection with the child of yours as well as your child will come to you when there's a problem.
But there's another reason for communication. You help your kid integrate various parts of the brain of theirs, a crucial process in a kid's development.
Integration is akin to our body, in which different organs must coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, more good behavior, more empathy, and better mental well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to explain what happened and the way they felt developing attuned communication.
You do not need to offer solutions. You don't need to have all the answers to be a good parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
A lot of us wish to parent differently from the parents of ours. Even those who had a good upbringing and a happy childhood might wish to alter some aspects of how they had been brought up.
But really frequently, when we open our mouths, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding why we parent how we do. Make note of things you would like to change and think of how you'd get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Attempt to be mindful and change your behavior next time those issues come up.
Do not give up if you do not succeed at first. It takes practice, a lot of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Focus on Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents need relief too.
Give consideration to your own well being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including the own needs of yours or the overall health of your marriage are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. If you do not take note of them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Make time to enhance your relationship with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more vulnerable to fighting. Do not be afraid to request parenting help. Having some "me time" for self care and stress management is important to revitalize the mind.
How parents take proper care of their child physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, to some parents, spanking is able to bring about short-term compliance which https://parentinghowto.com/ occasionally is a much-needed help for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the child right from wrong. It simply teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The kid is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking your child is modeling to the child that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or hit is much more vulnerable to fighting with other children. They're more likely in order to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later on in daily life, they're also more apt to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, even worse parent-child relationships, mental health problems, along with domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are a variety of more effective options to discipline which have been proven to be much more effective, like positive discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's the goal of yours in raising a kid?
When you're like most parents, you would like the child of yours to excel in school, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy good associations with you and some, be to care and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and satisfying life.
Though how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you're like most parents, you most likely spend most of the time simply trying getting through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in their book, The Whole Brain child, rather than helping your kid thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate the life of yours, the next time you feel frustrated or angry, step back. Think about what anger and frustration can do for you or your child.
Instead, find ways to switch every bad experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be turned into invaluable brain-sculpting moments if you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not trying to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what's already known by scientists.
To parent is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting techniques, practices, or traditions were scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for increasing a child and information that are backed by science, here's one of my favorite science based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all approach. Every child differs. Quite possibly within the very best parenting style, there can be many different good parenting practices you can choose based on your child's temperament.
A good example is employing spanking to discipline. You will find many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You are able to choose a non-punitive discipline method that works ideal for your child.
Naturally, you are able to also decide to use "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also might still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has shown us that kids with different temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those people who are more susceptible to parenting quality is going to have better outcomes under great parenting but worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those who are less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how strong their parents treat them. But it does not imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not because of it.
Why take a possibility with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice might not be the simplest way to parent. It may require much more work on the part of yours in the short term but can help you save lots of agony and time in the long term.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it is also very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards typically come much later than the effort. But if we try our best today, we will ultimately reap the rewards and have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!